Yes, you read well.
Anxiety saved my life and I’ll tell you why: It forced me to do that what I was terribly afraid of doing by leaving me no option.
See, the first time I experienced an anxiety attack I was 19 years old. I was studying Fashion and had a part-time office job in big recruitment company. I lived in a house I loved and had great fun at. I got to travel a lot every year, I was in great shape and I was dating a “perfect” guy. But guess what? I was unhappy.
I had known for about a year that I wasn’t living the life I wanted. I knew it with my whole heart and my body was sick of telling me, but I was too scared to break free.
I will be forever grateful to Bobby for breaking up with me. When he did, I thought the world was going to end and I felt the biggest rejection I have ever until the date felt.
I felt abandonment, shame, fear, sadness, guiltiness, anger and pain all at the same time. To top up the story Bobby and I worked together, so I had to deal with all of that while being professional! Hahahaha oh, life…
Anyway, the thing is that the break up introduced me for the first time to this little bitch we call anxiety. And man that's when shit got real…
I suffered from anxiety for about 6 months, and they were the hardest months of my life. Life became scary and heavy and very hard to deal with.
However looking back now, if I had to sign a contract to go through all of it once a year to be who I am now, I would do so. Because all of that pain took me exactly where I am. It was totally worth it.
If I wouldn’t have had anxiety I wouldn’t have met my first mentor, who taught me mindfulness, helped me reconnect with my meditation practice and guided me through a path of deep self-discovery. If I wouldn’t have been so terrified about being alone, I wouldn’t have had to develop such an intimate and loving relationship within myself. And if I wouldn't have been so uncomfortable with everything that surrounded me at the time, I wouldn’t have broken free & ended years later in the other side of the world, teaching people how to love & free themselves.
So again looking back, I will always be entirely grateful for anxiety pushing my buttons. Making me feel more lost than ever so that I would understand I needed to find myself, and more unhappy than ever so that I would learn about creating happiness within.
Whatever you are going through right now, I can assure you it is teaching you and preparing you for something greater.
Ride the waves, learn from them, TRUST IN LIFE.
The only way out is through.
Breath it through…
You’ve got this.